Good Morning!
I didn't work on the love dare so we aren't even going to go there.. I actually want to vent.
We all know I have 2 AMAZING little girls from my first marriage. Which means I have to "share" them with their father every other weekend, alternating holidays, and 4 weeks during the summer.. when it's convenient for him of course.
I have always had a couple problems with them going over there, but I have to remind myself that he is their "father".
Lately things have really been bothering me though.. Examples:
Kayleigh got in trouble, wasn't allowed to use facebook anymore. She opened another account behind my back that Baby Daddy's gf and the gf's sister knew about and did not tell either one of her parents. Then Kayleigh apologizes to her and the sister because they get mad at Kayleigh.. FOR WHAT!?
That same weekend.. Krysten is made to eat perogies, which are like a ravioli with cheese and mashed potatoes, everyone knows my little one does not eat cheese or mashed potatoes.. well people who actually know her. The gf forces Krysten to eat them.. Baby Daddy walks in the room and Krysten starts gagging. He gets mad and says not to make her eat them.. well when it's all over Krysten has to apologize to the gf for making her look like a bad person! WHAT THE HECK!?
Also, it was New Year's Eve that weekend.. I found out that my girls, 3 other girls their age, and 1 fifteen year old were left home alone to have a party and camp out in the yard.. The only adult supervision was someone's mom checking on them by looking out the window. Baby Daddy and his gf went out to party and took their son to a babysitter. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
If I ever tell him the girls are in trouble or that they did something wrong all he does is tell me he is going to spank them..(which he rarely follows through on but still, it's not the answer) When I told him about the facebook thing he took his gf's side and got mad at Kayleigh.. Kay is 11, his gf is an adult.. she should have come to one of her parents and told.. not "liked" that Kay started a secret facebook.
So when I picked them up at 8:30pm on Monday they get in the car and tell me they are hungry.. I'm like what do you mean.. haven't you had dinner? They say no, we were rushing and normally we don't eat dinner till around 10:00pm when we are there. OMG.
What can I even do about this? I know everyone parents different but shouldn't we be able to compromise a little since we have to co-parent..
When they come home from there they are exhausted, irritable, and bratty. It's hard for them to get up for school on Monday because they were free to do whatever they want over the weekend, go to sleep whenever they want, sleep as late as they want..
At our house we have a schedule.. things are done a certain way.. I know not everyone is the same but, really?
I know I could have it worse.. he pays child support, sees them pretty regularly, but shouldn't I be able to trust that the girls are being taken are of while they are there?
It's so FRUSTRATING..
Not to mention that he never helps with clothes, shoes, field trips, the only money or assistance I get is child support. They also are not allowed to bring anything home that they get over there.. presents, ect. But I am expected to send clothes and such when I send them over.. For Christmas they gave the girls $200 a piece instead of buying them anything.. They let them go and buy a bunch of junk toys, no clothes, shoes, things they actually need.. do they get to bring anything home? Of course not. I just wish he could be a little more responsible.
Ok, I'm done ranting for now. I just needed to get that out.
Wow. I know every story has two sides but it sounds like he is being an idiot. I can't believe he just left them like that on NYs, that's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can say is write all the things down, look them a few times. Make sure that you are not ANGRY when you talk and try to sit down with him and hopefully John and the GF to maybe discuss a few things like how cranky the girls are when they come home, maybe having some sort of schedule for them when they are there for their benefit? I dunno Kim. Obviously I'm not real great at dealing with the Josh's father so who knows. I think everybody has differences, especially on how they take care of their kids, and especially if they don't get to see them all the time. My sister's ex used to do the same kind of stuff with letting them do whatever and nothing she said ever got through to him.
Good luck
I have tried to talk to them.. I asked if we could please meet earlier than 8 to get them back.. He did ok.. for a couple times.. Now he meets at like 8:30!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try again.. but I'm not done being mad yet. :)