Shame on me.

Ok, I am a little ashamed to admit I did not work out last night..


oh... did I mention I had a cupcake at work (it was my boss' birthday) and we ate at Golden Corral for dinner?

I know.. HORRIBLE. I didn't eat terrible at GC though.. and I didn't have dessert.. only because the chocolate fountain wasn't working.. hahahahahahaha. It wasn't entirely my fault.. the girls wanted to go there because they got good grades. How could I say no? I really don't even like GC.

I am so working out tonight though.

I didn't really talk to John about the Love Dare, but tonight I am talking to him about today's. It just happens to be something we talked about this morning. :)

I also feel like I am having some friend problems. I kinda feel like some people want to see me fail. When it comes down to it my only best friend is my husband. There is no one I feel that I could really count on besides him. No one to confide in and tell my secrets to. I do tell my mother in law most things. She has pretty much become the closest thing I have to a best friend.


Oh and one more thing... there were left over cupcakes... I totally had one for breakfast! :)

 Before

After

 It was so YUMMMMMMY too!

More on the Love Dare tomorrow!

Back to real life.

I'm back!

Having braces put on and then having 4 teeth pulled is rough!

I did get a small vacation from work because of it, but I felt like crap the whole time.

I'm just focusing on the fact that it will all be worth it in the end.

I am getting back on track tonight with the workout and Love Dare. I'm actually getting excited about working out. I can't wait to see my friend Tony Horton! I love watching the scale go down. I am skipping LD Day 13, it won't work in my house.. but here it is in case you wanted to read.. My thoughts are in BOLD!

I did have a busy weekend once I started feeling better, Saturday John woke up and went fishing with his friend at like 6am. I got up and took the girls and their friend Peyton to the mall, met my friend Jennifer, her sister, and 2 daughters up there, shopped for a little bit, had lunch and then came home. Tina brought baby Clare over so I could babysit and I took all the girls to my friends house. Yesterday I cleaned my carpets, went grocery shopping, and cleaned up a table that I am going to paint next weekend, I can't wait to get it finished! Oh! ..and I made a valance for the window in my bathroom and started curtains for my bedroom. :)

I will have more to post tomorrow!

LOVE DARE DAY 13

Love Fights Fair

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25

Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.

Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity.

At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you’re really made of. Work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. This sets the stage for disagreements to break out between the two of you. You argued and fought. You hurt. You experienced conflict. But you are not alone.

Every couple goes through it. It’s par for the course. But not every couple survives it.

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That’s because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You’re the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off the cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes.

But love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you’re fighting about. Love helps you install air bags and to set up guardrails in your relationship. It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

But how? The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you don’t have guidelines for how you’ll approach hot topics, you won’t stay in bounds when the action heats up.

Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: “we” boundaries and “me” boundaries.

“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:

1. We will never mention divorce.

2. We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

3. We will never fight in public or in front of our children.

4. We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.

5. We will never touch one another in a harmful way.

6. We will never go to bed angry with one another.

7. Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

“Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples:

1. I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).

2. I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.

Today’s Dare

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

In your journal:

If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? Most of these we already do.. minus the time out one.. lol. This just isn't something John is going to be able to follow if he is pissed off.

What rules did you write for yourself? For myself, I will work on listening before speaking, and I am already pretty good at keeping my voice down.

We have actually come a long way lately in our marriage. :)

Be of the same mind toward one another. (Romans 12:16)

Quick Update.

I am feeling a tiny bit better, finally getting used to the braces... a little. My mouth is still sore from having the teeth pulled. I have just been feeling super sick. But today I can at least get up. Yesterday I felt super sick anytime I sat up. I'm so ready to be 100% again!

I haven't ate much or been able to exercise.

Hopefully I will be back to normal next week!

You can call me Bubba.

I am sitting here with my mouth still paralyzed, I'm sure John loves it. LOL. What a perfect time to blog since I can't talk!

I got my braces put on yesterday.. It is not at all what I thought.

1. I didn't think it would hurt.
2. I thought I would be ok with them.
3. I thought I would look ok.
4. I thought I would be able to eat.. at least somethings.
5. I thought I would be SUPER happy.

Boy was I wrong.

1. THEY HURT!
2. They make me have a little anxiety, kind of like being claustrophobic.
3. I look HORRIBLE, seriously, The Real Housewives would be jealous of these luscious lips...
4. Eating everything hurts, even soft stuff because it means I have to close my mouth.
5. I have been doubting my decision.

I'm sure it will all be worth it.. 2 years is a long time though.

Now let's talk about having 4 teeth pulled in one day.
I did have nitrous, not that it helped. I cried a bunch. Those dang shots to numb you hurt a whole lot. I felt like they were going to pull my face off. It was weird. I was watching Nate Berkus and listening to the Harry Potter dentist talk.. I felt like I was in a cartoon. Now I am relaxing in bed with my pain medicine and a mouthful of gauze wondering if I made the right decision.

Ok, no more whining. :) Hopefully Love Dare and working out will be back on track soon.

Nervous.

Today is the day! I become a Brace Face in 1 hour 4 minutes. I am nervous and excited!

I didn't do the Love Dare this weekend. I didn't have my facebook and my email wasn't working so I didn't receive the questions.

I did however recover my kitchen chairs to match my valances I made.. lol. I'm not sure I like them but I can always change them. Here are some pictures.

Keep in mind I am new to the whole sewing thing!

Before, not  the greatest picture.

Before, gross.

After

 Don't ask why there is a jack handle in the window.

Next weekend we are going to distress the table so it all has a cottage kind of feel, sort of shabby chic.. :) I'll post pictures.

Oh, and I'm back on facebook. :) I know.. addicted.

Drama and Day 12... a big one.

As you know.. or most of you anyway, I am giving up facebook. This Dare will explain why.

But first, I worked out.. alone again last night. I didn't want to.. at all. But I forced myself. John did boy workouts n the garage with his punching bag, he said he is going to start back with me again next week.. we will see.

Baby Daddy has some how been reading all of my stuff.. He is not happy about it. We got in a big argument yesterday about it.. but it's my thoughts on my page and my blog. I haven't lied about anything and I have said many times that he does pay child support.. I just think he needs to step it up in other areas.. Whatev..

John was of course pissed.. He hates facebook and it all started because I posted things... well how was I to know my PRIVATE page would be shown to Baby Daddy. He doesn't exactly like Baby Daddy and would like me not to give him any reason to be more of a prick, it's already hard for John to keep his mouth shut.

Now you will see why yesterdays dare is such a big deal. I will explain it more at the end. (I'm in bold.)


Love Dare -- Day 12

Love lets the other win. (Seriously! Of all days.)

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4 (Not exactly what I wanted to hear...)

If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard. You might even be able to produce a top ten list if given a few more minutes. And sadly, unless someone at your house starts doing some giving in, these same issues are going to keep popping up between you and your mate. (For us there is really only a couple.. guess which one is the biggest)

Unfortunately, stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a foundational part of your nature and make-up. It's detrimental, though, inside a marriage relationship, and it steals away time and productivity. It can also cause great frustration for both of you.

Granted, being stubborn is not always bad. Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But too often we debate over piddling things, like the color of wall paint or the choice of restaurants.

Other times, of course, the stakes are much higher. One of you would like more children; the other doesn't. One of you wants to vacation with your extended family; the other doesn't. One of you prefers home-schooling your kids; the other doesn't. One of you thinks it's time for marriage counseling or to get more involved in a church, while the other doesn't. (or Facebook, as John calls it.. The Devils Work)

Though these issues may not crop up every day, they keep resurfacing and don't really go away. You never seem to get any closer to a resolution or compromise. The heels just keep digging in. It's like driving with the parking brake on. (So freaking true!)

There's only one way to get beyond stalemates like these, and that's by finding a word that's the opposite of stubbornness -- a word we first met back while discussing kindness. That word is "willing." It's an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations.

All it takes for your present arguments to continue is for both of you to stay entrenched and unbending. But the very moment one of you says, "I'm willing to go your way on this one," the argument will be over. And though the follow through may cost you some pride and discomfort, you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.

"Yes, but then I'll look foolish. I'll lose the fight. I'll lose control." You've already looked foolish by being bullheaded and refusing to listen. You've already lost the fight by making this issue more important than your marriage and your spouse's sense of worth. You may have already lost emotional control by saying things that got personal and hurt your mate.

The wise and loving thing to do is to start approaching your disagreements with a willingness to not always insist on your own way. That's not to say your mate is necessarily right or being wise about a matter, but you are choosing to give strong consideration to their preference as a way of valuing them.

No, you won't always see eye-to-eye. You're not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won't have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.

Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run -- especially in eternity -- then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be both good for you and good for your marriage.

Today's Dare:

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first. I did this.. it didn't go as you would think.. I'll explain after the questions.

In your journal:

What issue did you choose? You guessed it.. FACEBOOK.
What did giving in cost you? Technically, nothing.. but I love facebook. It entertains me when I am bored, lets me keep in touch with people I wouldn't be able to normally, let's me vent.. you get the point. I have a slight facebook addiction.
How will this help you in the future? It will maybe stop a few arguments.. I can no longer see things that might make me mad and go back and tell John what I saw. No more "putting my business out there" which will also make my husband (and ex-husband) happy. I'm not sure how it will help me.. but it SHOULD please the husband. 


Now for how it went down.


I have an extremely close relationship with my mother in law. She seriously is one of my best friends. I tell her everything. John doesn't talk to her as much as I do.. Well yesterday after the big blow up with Randy and then with John when I tried to tell him about Randy I called her. I was driving home, I had read the Dare and I knew what I needed to do. When she answered I asked how she was feeling and stuff. I then told her I was giving up facebook. Her reply, "Good". It took me by surprise, but then she explained that John had called her and was really upset about the whole situation and he just really doesn't understand why I need facebook to begin with. 


I get home and ask John to go to the store with me.. I explain to him that I am giving up facebook for him and about the dare and how I am letting him win. His reply, you don't have to do that, you should get rid of it because you want to not because of me. He actually got kind of mad at me, we argued, I cried, I did my best to explain what this said and that the whole point is to do it for him. I'm not sure how it will end but for now.. no more facebook. Later today I will be deactivating my account. :( I thought he would be happy about it.. I text him and told him I was deactivating it today, he replied, "Thanks for the sacrifice, but its your decision".

Am I doing the right thing? Is this going to help? Time will tell.
Do I feel good about it? Not really. I think it sucks.. but that is the whole point I guess. 
I'm doing this for him.. "I'm willing to go his way on this one".


On my way to work I was praying about all this, asking for guidance and help because I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing.. Well I had happened to turn on KLOVE which I haven't been listening to lately and at the end of my conversation with God my most FAVORITE Christian song came on.. I'll post the video so you can hear it. It was even my favorite version.. the acoustic live version. 

I am still going to blog for now. I made it private so only a select few will be reading it. 

Come on let's sweat, baby...

I worked out without the husband.. again. Yesterday was Yoga Flex day. I would like to thank Tony Horton for showing me exactly how not flexible I am. Today is Cardio day again. John says he is going to workout with me, we will see. Cardio is the video that made him sore for 2 days and counting. As of yesterday he said his legs still hurt. It's exciting to see the scale go down a little everyday and it is awesome to know I am doing it the right way, no pills or fad diets.


I need to complain about the ex husband for a minute before talking about the Love Dare.


So last weekend was his weekend. I didn't hear from him all week and the girls had a slumber party they wanted to go to so I let them. At 9:34pm I get this text from his friend's phone. (I was in bed, this is actually spelling and grammar, no exaggerations)


Baby Daddy: Wats up. I wanna see my kids.
BD: I just gptta
BD: Home
BD: Were getm to old for
BD: This


ME: You need to start getting in touch with me before Friday. They are at their friends birthday party. They have plans on Sunday. Next weekend. But let me know before last minute I am tired of chasing you down every week.


BD: Every otjer weekemd there mine quit making them plans on my weekend


ME: I never know when you are getting them. It's up to you to get in touch with me. I can't get in touch with you. You don't have a phone.


BD: Ur act like ur, god


ME: I can't help peoples birthdays. When I count on you to get them you cancel. I never know what you are going to do.


BD: Well ive got to pay child support therd mine


ME: No I don't. But you should be able to pick up a phone before 930 Friday night.


BD: Ok dont ur cancel


ME: What?


BD: Two more months Imm done then im


ME: What? You are not making sense


So I called him... he claims the typing errors were because it is a touch-screen phone.. mhmm.  Basically he says that I should know that he is going to get them even though I don't hear from him. I have tried to explain to him that I can't count on him because he always cancels and that hearing from him at 9:30pm on the day he is supposed to pick them up is not acceptable. His reply is that he knows we don't get along and in June he is going to quit his job. WHAT!? How is that going to help anything? It is so frustrating. The conversation ended with him yelling F*ck You and hanging up on me. I didn't even raise my voice. I just said that he needs to let me know something before so late on the day we are supposed to meet. I then text and said: What is your deal? Just bc you are having a bad day you don't need to take it out on me.


So after all this do you think he has called to let me know he is getting them this weekend? Of course not. I haven't heard from him. I did just text his friend's phone to see if his friend would have him call me... but we will see what happens. I just feel like I shouldn't have to get in touch with him. If he wants to see the kids he should at least contact me and let me know that yes he is available or no he isn't... not just leave me hanging all the time.


I'm sure it's going to go over great when I tell him that Krysten has tutoring on Saturday and he needs to make sure she goes. UGH!


Ok, on to happier things.



Love Dare -- Day 11.

Love Cherishes.

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. -- Ephesians 5:28.

Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one. This not only happens physically but spiritually and emotionally. You start off sharing the same house, the same bed, the same last name. Your identity as individuals has been joined into one. When your spouse goes through a tragedy, both of you feel it. When you find success at your job, both of you rejoice. But somewhere along the way, you experience disappointment, and the sobering reality that you married an imperfect person sets in.

This, however, does not change the fact that your spouse is still a part of you. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it."

But there is a flip side to this coin. When you mistreat your mate, you are also mistreating yourself. Think about it. Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you. So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body.
Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that "he who loves his wife loves himself." And a wife should remember that when she loves him, she is also giving love and honor to herself.

When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life.

Today's Dare:

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile. I kind of did this the day before, so it was a little difficult for me. Plus he was crabby, he had a bad day at work and is worried about his Mom, she isn't feeling good.

In your journal:

What did you choose to show that you cherish your mate? I listened to him complain about work, I normally try to get him to look at the bright side which annoys the crap out of him. Instead I just listened and let him vent. I tried to be more patient and also asked him if there was anything I could do that would show how much I cherished him.. he gave me a devious look, but never came up with anything. :)
What did you learn from this experience? I'm not sure, but the night ended on a good note. I think he knows how much I cherish him and I have been working really hard on letting him know exactly how much I love him. I also asked him to watch the movie Fireproof with me, it's about this whole Love Dare.. he said he would. :)

'cause whenever you smile, I smile ♪♫

Last night when I got home from work John said he was too sore to work out. WHAT!? You mean that "stupid" video that was going to be a waste of money made it to where you could barely walk in only 10 minutes?? Hahaha. I am proud to say I worked out without him! Yep, sure did. Monday we did Cardio and last night I did Total Body. It was a lot of arm movement that I am not used to.. Today needless to say my arms ache a little when I type.. especially the left one. I have lost the weight I gained back over the weekend which is good! I have been working really hard on my diet.

I get my spacers for my braces today.. I am so excited.. and scared. Everyone keeps telling me how much it's going to hurt. I don't know if there has ever been a person who wanted braces as bad as I do. I can't wait to see the change in my teeth. I am getting the ceramic ones not the traditional metal braces.. maybe they won't be as noticeable, but honestly I don't care if they are, it will all be worth it in the end. :)



Ok, Love Dare. Again, I am totally shortening these. If you want the whole thing let me know. 
My thoughts are in bold.

Love Dare -- Day 10

Love is unconditional.

If someone were to ask you, "Why do you love your wife?" or "Why do you love your husband?" -- what would you say?

Most men would mention their wife's beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness, her inner strength. They might talk about her cooking, her knack for decorating, or what a good mother she is.

Women would probably say something about their husband's good looks or his personality. They'd commend him for his steadiness and consistent character. They'd say they love him because he's always there for them. He's generous. He's helpful.

But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on your answers above, the only logical response would be "no." If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities -- and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear -- your basis for love is over.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choose to love.

That's not to say, though, that love which began for the wrong reasons cannot be restored and redeemed. In fact, when you rebuild your marriage with agape as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.

And don't be surprised, when your spouse begins living confidently under it's shade, if he or she doesn't become even more lovable to you than you remember. You will no longer say, "I love you because...." You will say, "I love you, period."

Today's Dare:

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse -- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.Ok, so this was a little hard.. 1. I always do the laundry, cook, etc.. we definitely have the traditional husband/wife roles in our home, 2. The kids only chore is cleaning the kitchen, 3. We can't have dessert, we are dieting! 
So what I did instead was I made his plate and brought it to him in his recliner since his legs were so sore (we normally have family dinner at the table) and before we went to bed rubbed his legs and back and babied him just a little. I also shared a little bit of this dare with him.. up until now I haven't really told him about it.

In your journal:

Has your love in the past been based on your spouse's attributes and behavior, or on your commitment? I just love him, period. I can't even say in the beginning it was because of his attributes. I knew the minute I laid eyes on him I was going to marry him. I didn't know what he was like or anything. I just knew he was the one.I know God sent John to me and me to John.

How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for? I struggled with this over the weekend. I felt like I was trying so hard to make our marriage better and he was just being a jerk. I am just going to continue to work on me and us and hopefully when he sees and feels the difference in me it will start a change in him. I do not doubt John's love for me at all. I know he loves me unconditionally, he is just a little rough around the edges sometimes. I have tried to talk him into not using negative words, like in Love Dare Day 1. If you know my husband you know this is quite difficult for him.. baby steps though. ;)

Let's get physical..

The husband and I started our work out last night. We have been doing pretty good on our diet, minus this weekend.. but that won't happen again.

We ordered 10 minute trainer, it's created by Tony Horton, the same guy who created P90X. My excuse has always been "I don't have time to workout", but who doesn't have 10 minutes? You can do more if you want but each video is 10 minutes, 14 if you do the warm up and cool down (we did). Going into it of course the husband was skeptical.. 10 min.. sure.. this is going to be stupid. Well, it is 10 minutes of getting your butt kicked. We were both breathing hard and sweating by the end. I swear it might have been the slowest 10 minutes of my life.. lol. It has encouraged me to do more though. It was fun, we weren't able to keep up with Tony and his assistant, but we did pretty good for our first time. I LOVED that the husband did it with me! He is normally in pretty good shape and does "manly" workouts with weights and stuff. It was nice to have him next to me, motivating me. ♥ I can't wait for tonight's workout!

Today I go get the 2nd half of my deep cleaning, tomorrow my spacers, and Monday my braces! I seriously get butterflies just thinking about it. I can't wait to have straight teeth. The thing I hate most about my appearance is my smile, to have it fixed will be amazing. I have been going to Dr Joel David and Associates, the guy on tv. They are really as nice as they seem and my dentist kind of looks like Harry Potter with spikey hair.. lol. I'm so super excited. The only thing I'm a little scared of is that they are going to pull 4 teeth when I get my braces on.. eeeek! Oh, and it doesn't help that people keep telling me how bad it's going to hurt to get the braces. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end. ☺

Love Dare Day 9

John and I are still pretty much newlyweds..  Some of these things have not completely disappeared. I am going to improve on what we do now and make it a point to remember all of this daily so the We don't stop doing these things.

Day 9 - Love makes good impressions

You've covered some serious ground so far in this journey. Learning to demonstrate aspects of love like patience, kindness, and encouragement are not always easy but are certainly crucial to a healthy relationship. So dealing with the way you greet your spouse each day may seem inconsequential, but this small issue carries surprising significance.

You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another. You can see it in their expression and countenance, as well as how they speak to each other. It is even more obvious by their physical contact. But how much importance should you give a greeting? This raises an interesting question. How do you greet your friends, coworkers, and neighbors? How about acquaintances and those you meet in public? You may even encounter someone you don't necessarily like yet still acknowledge them out of courtesy. So if you're this nice and polite to other people, doesn't your spouse deserve the same? Times ten?

It's probably something you don't think about very often -- the first thing you say to him or to her when you wake up in the morning, the look on your face when you get in the car, the energy in your voice when you speak on the telephone. But here's something else you probably don't stop to consider -- the difference it would make in your spouse's day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them.


Think about your greeting. Do you use it well? Does your spouse feel valued and appreciated? Do they feel loved? Even when you're not getting along too well, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them.

Remember, love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose to love.

Today:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Questions:

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? When I got home from work I decided to be more enthusiastic. Normally I come home, kiss my husband, and start on whatever needs to be done. Instead I spent a little more time hugging and kissing him.. held on a little tighter. :) I also text him during the day and told him I couldn't wait to see him.

How will you change your greeting from this point on? I think making him feel a little more special was a good way to change it.. It changed the whole mood of the night. ♥

Quick update.

This weekend we were invited to my cousin's baby's baptism. While we were getting ready this is our conversation.

Kayleigh: Isn't that where they drown the baby?
ME: No, they aren't going to drown the baby! They just sprinkle water on it's head.

Later, on the way to the baptism we are talking about it again.. I was telling John about "drowning" the baby and Krysten says..


Krysten: How long are they going to hold the baby under water?
ME: They aren't holding the baby under water! They are just sprinkling water on it's head.

I guess they are a little confused.

In other news, I have lost a few pounds.. just changing my diet. We are starting a new workout tonight. I am excited and nervous! We are going to take "before" pictures.. ugh. I will keep everyone posted on how it goes! I might post the "before" pictures.. but only after I have super hot "after" pictures! lol.

Working on Day 9 of the love dare.. I will post about it later. :)

Me complaining and day 8.

I'm still catching up.. that is why it's not technically the next day.

I normally don't post the whole love dare but I think I am today. Am I jealous of these people that are getting what I want? Yes. Is it a bad jealousy? I'm not sure. I really needed this Dare today. 

I'm sure everyone knows I am talking about a baby. We have been trying for over a year and it just seems like it will never happen for us. I'm watching all these people around me get pregnant and it just really hurts. I'm losing sleep over it just like this Dare says. I don't understand why we can't conceive. What about all these people that are getting pregnant and having abortions? Why can they conceive these babies they don't even want? What about these parents that kill their babies? I know what you are going to say.. when the time is right it will happen... I know. But it still makes me sad.

And before you say it, yes I am extremely grateful for my girls.

Day 8 - Love is not jealous.

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word for zeal and means "to burn with an intense fire." The Scripture pointedly says, "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4).

There are actually two forms: a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else. If a wife has an affair and gives herself to another person, her husband may have justified, jealous anger because of his love for her. He is longing to have back what is rightfully his.

The Bible describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. It's not that He is envious of us, wishing He had what we have (since He already owns everything). It's that He deeply longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. He doesn't want us to let anything take precedence over Him in our hearts. The Bible warns us not to worship anything but Him because "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4:24).

With this established, we will shift our focus to the illegitimate kind of jealousy that is in opposition to love -- the one that is rooted in selfishness. This is to be jealous of someone, to be "moved with envy."

Do you struggle with being jealous of others? Your friend is more popular, so you feel hatred towards her. Your coworker gets the promotion, so you can't sleep that night. He may have done nothing wrong, but you became bitter because of his success. It has been said that people are fine with your succeeding, just as long as it is not more than others.

Jealousy is a common struggle. It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them. If you're not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended.

If you don't diffuse your anger by learning to love others, you may eventually begin plotting against them. The Bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:I-2).

There is a string of violent jealousy seen throughout Scripture. It caused the first murder when Cain despised God's acceptance of his brother's offering. Sarah sent away her hand-maiden because Hagar could bear children while Sarach could not. Joseph's brothers saw he was their father's favorite, so they threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave. Jesus was more loving, powerful, and popular than the chief priests, so they envied Him and plotted His betrayal and Crucifixion.

You don't usually get jealous of disconnected strangers. The ones you're tempted to be jealous of are primarily in the same arena with you. They work in your office, play in your league, run in circles...or live in your house. Yes, if you aren't careful, jealousy can also infect your marriage.

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse's biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club. Bot of you became one and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather than congratulations.

He may be enjoying golf on the weekend while she stays home cleaning the house, He boasts to her about shooting a great score and she feels like shooting him.

Or perhaps she is constantly invited to go out with friends while he is left home with the dog. If he's not careful, he can resent her popularity.

Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them. A loving husband doesn't mind his wife being better at something, having more fun, or getting more applause. He sees her as completing him, not competing with him.

When he receives praise, he publicly thanks her for her support in aiding his own success. He refuses to brag in such a way that may cause her to resent him. A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She throws a celebration, not a pity party.

It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. It's time to let your mate's successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.

Today:

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's lists of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Questions:

How hard was it to destroy the list? Not hard, I had saved it on the computer so I didn't burn it I just deleted it.
What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate? We have been working on being healthier and he has done really well with the diet part which is sometimes hard for me. He is losing weight pretty fast. I could be happier for him and not JEALOUS that it is harder for me to shed pounds.
How can you encourage them toward future successes? I will definitely work on being a better cheerleader.

Love Dare Day 7

So most of this I typed yesterday, the love dare part.. But I just need to vent  a little. I am very sad today. It's nobody's fault. 

Have you ever wanted something so bad it seems crazy to some? Then watched people around you get what you want? Some do deserve it.. But then there are some people who don't even want it and are just going to get rid of it? It hurts. 

I'm having an off day today because of this.. But here is Day 7.

Love Believes the Best

[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It’s called the Appreciation Room. It’s where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place.

On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like “honest” and “intelligent,” or phrases like “diligent worker,” “wonderful cook,” or “beautiful eyes.” They are things you’ve discovered about your husband or wife that have embedded themselves in your memory. When you think about these things, your appreciation for your spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate.

Down another dark corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well.

On its walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.

This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband and wife. Their bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions are written in large letters that cover the walls from one end to the other. If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing things like, “My wife is so selfish,” or “My husband can be such a jerk.” Or maybe, “I think I married the wrong person.”

But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages.

Today’s Dare

For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Questions:

Which list was easier to make? 

They were both equally easy.

What did this reveal about your thoughts? 

I'm not sure.. maybe that at anytime the negative things are easy to come up with.. it should actually be easier to think positive things.

What attribute did you thank your spouse for having? 

I thanked him for being a good dad to my girls. He took on a lot when we got together.. he has no kids and had never been with someone with kids. :)

Thursday's Child

Last night we went out to eat.. again.. This is the second time I have tried to get the servers to sing Happy Birthday to my husband and the second time that they have forgot. :( I guess I will give up.

While we were at dinner though the girls were writing on their kids menus and one of them (no names) wrote John a note.. They call him Johnny Test because of the cartoon, ok, here is what it said. Hello Johnny Testicles.. Hahaha... She had no idea what that meant.. so we had to explain it to her.. It was funny.

So these Love dares I have been doing come from Fireproof. It's a movie that you can watch on youtube. I haven't watched it. I'm going to tomorrow. There is a Love Dare book too. My friend had just be sending me the Dares. I am having a hard time with Day 6. I don't really understand the journal part but I am going to do my best.

Day 6

"Love is not irritable"

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -Proverbs 16:32

Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended? Some people have the motto, “Never pass up an opportunity to get upset with your spouse.” When something goes wrong, they quickly take full advantage of it by expressing how hurt or frustrated they are. But this is the opposite reaction to love.

If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be a joy, not a jerk. Ask yourself, “Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?”

Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge. To be grateful instead of greedy. To be content rather than rushing into more debt. Love encourages you to be happy when someone else succeeds rather than lying wake at night in envy. Love says “share the inheritance” rather than “fight with your relatives.” It reminds you to prioritize your family rather than sacrifice them for a promotion at work. In each decision, love ultimately lowers your stress and helps you release the venom that can build up inside. It then sets up your heart to respond to your spouse with patience and encouragement rather than anger and exasperation.

TODAY'S DARE

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Ok, the problem I was having was with the word margin. I didn't understand the context. 

Here is the definition: margin: allowance; a permissible difference; allowing some freedom to move within limits; leeway, tolerance  

So my way of understanding is where in my life could I be more tolerant and not just jump to being irritated. 

I always do my best to have a clear conscience towards God and men. -Acts 24:16

Questions:

Where do you need to add margin to your life? 

1. Husband- We all probably all could be a little more tolerant with our husbands.. I have been working on this one and I have really been trying not to use negative words when talking to him or at all. I'm trying to get him to work on this as well.. but it's a little harder for him. :)

2. The kids- I do lose my patience with the girls.. when I ask them to do things.. and then ask again.. and again.. by then I'm mad.

3. Friends, mainly one or two- It's true sometimes I take people for granted and let my emotions get the best of me and jump down people's throat or just ignore them altogether.

4.Driving- Road Rage. The end. I'm always in a hurry.

5. Family- I have a low tolerance when it comes to certain family members.

When have you recently overreacted? 

I haven't gone into detail about this, but I have posted about my drama with my friend. I think I might have overreacted.. a little ;)

What was your real motivation behind it?  

It honestly just started out as an opinion, then something got taken out of context, then my feelings got hurt, so I got mad and went on the attack.. My motivation might have been to hurt her back, I should have just let it go and ignore it.. but my feelings got the best of me. 

I have found these online so if you are interested let me know and I will send you the website. 

Love Dare Day 5

Yes I am aware I am way behind.. My thoughts are in bold.

Day 5 -- Love is not rude.

There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, of course, is a good thing. A child is born ignorant of etiquette, needing lots of help and taining. Adults, however, display their ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In face, you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with.

Test yourself with these questions:

*How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them? I am generally the nicer of the 2 of us. :)
* How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem? He has mentioned that I make him feel bad when I get bummed out (he calls it pouting, I disagree) that we aren't going out or doing something that I wanted to do, I guess I could work on Containing those emotions better.
*Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing? He does think I am a blessing, he has told me more than once that he knows God sent me to him to change his life for the better.

Now I am in no way saying I am a perfect wife or I am always polite. But I will say I try very hard to be as nice as possible.

Here are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do, If in doubt, then ask.

The first 2 we have talked about a lot recently, last night even, this is something we need to work on. From the beginning of our relationship we have always done everything together. But now that we have been together for awhile we both would like to be able to do things separately (see friends and such). The problem is when I go somewhere he is always rushing me to get home or doesn't want me to go.. and when he does something without me I do the same thing.. even though I don't want him to do it to me.. But like I said, we are not perfect and definitely a work in progress.

Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

The questions:

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? This was actually pretty hard for him.. which is fine with me! This is what he came up with.

1. My driving

2. Facebook

3. My choice of TV shows

How did you handle hearing it? I was ok with these, they aren't "bad", I asked him if there was anything about my personality and he said no, but to get back with him when he is mad at me and he is sure he will have many things to add to this list.

What do you plan to do to improve theses areas?

1. My driving- This is pretty easy, I normally just let him drive, from now on he will always drive if we are in the car together.

2. Facebook- I understand that he doesn't like facebook, but I love facebook, do I love it more than I love my husband? Of course not, but I do enjoy being able to stay in touch with so many people that if not for facebook I would never talk to. I am going to agree to not be on facebook when I am around him.. evenings.. or anytime we are spending time together, no obsessively checking on my phone, my nook, the computer, whatever electronic device I can get my hands on. If it becomes a more serious issue than I will delete my account.

3. My choice of TV shows- this one.. well there isn't really a remedy for. He hates reality TV, I love it. He hates "girl" shows, I'm a girl. He would watch Fox News Channel all day everyday, I can't stand it, I feel like all they do is bicker. It annoys me. We try to watch shows we both enjoy when we are both in the room. But we have to have our own likes and dislikes so he is going to have to get over the fact that I might flip the channel to Jersey Shore when he walks out of the room. :)

Next time he gets mad and gives me more things that irritate him I will let you know!

Wednesday Shwednesday

Happy Wednesday.

About my calf.

My left leg was very swollen yesterday, much larger than my right. I noticed it because my jeans were tight on one leg. I didn't think too much of it. Went home, ran some errands, went to dinner... it just seemed to get worse. I looked it up on Web MD (thanks Jennifer) and it said IF ONLY ONE OF YOUR CALVES ARE SWOLLEN SEEK PROMPT MEDICAL ATTENTION! I started to get a little worried but decided to go to sleep. I woke up this morning to 5 missed calls, 4 text messages, 1 voicemail, and numerous facebook comments telling me to go to the ER. Ok, that was a little scary so I got up and called my sister to come stay with the girls. All I got out was, I need a big favor. I need you to come over here... Then I started crying.. I couldn't talk so I handed the phone to John but my sister had hung up. I composed myself and called her back.. ♥ she was already on her way.  After convincing the husband to go to work, that I would be ok, I headed to the ER. When I got there I felt like they weren't taking me very seriously. My leg had gone down a lot but it was still a little swollen. They did an ultrasound to make sure there were no clots and told me it could be fluid retention (in one leg, how weird) or I might have strained or overworked the muscle. Either way I am ok so far.. just a little crampy. I'll keep everyone posted.

I have totally fallen off the Love Dare wagon.. I'm jumping back on though! I'm going to start with the day I stopped and I will blog about it tomorrow. I think I let drama get in the way. I had a falling out with a friend and it was really so stupid, but I don't think it would have been as bad as it was if a certain person would have minded their own business.

It's crazy how we react when are feelings are hurt. I'm the type that closes up. I don't talk to you. Not because I never want to talk to you again,  just because I need time. Ask anyone I have been friends with for more than a few years.. eventually I get over it. I don't need to discuss it, or wait for an apology, or be hateful. It just goes away and I remember all the reasons we were friends to begin with.

I just received the sweetest email ever as I was typing this blog that shows me I am a good friend.

Here it is:

Friend:

I just wanted to say thank you for being my friend. That is all. You may now continue with your day.

ME:

You are very very very welcome.
Thank you for being mine.

It's amazing out of all the crazy drama in the past that our friendship is the only one that has made it through!

Friend:

I know right!!! I was just thinking about all that, and it really made me appreciate you so I felt it necessary to say thank you. You really are one of the my best friends and I feel proud to call you that ☺ And no I have not been drinking, I am still at work.

It's nice to get compliments every once in awhile, it reminds you that you are doing something right.

Ok, I have something to confess.. Before yesterday it had been awhile since I had really prayed. I normally use my ride to work as my time to talk to God. But I had stopped.. I'm not even sure when. Then a couple months ago I found out about something that really bothered me and I questioned my faith, I know that is horrible but I am just being honest. I questioned God and couldn't understand why things happen to some people and not to others. Yesterday I realized what I had done. I realized that it had been forever so I prayed... on my way to work, just as I would have before. Today on my way to work I was looking around and noticed a license plate.. I thought the plate said John 4:27. I made a mental note to look up that scripture... well when I got closer to that car I realized the plate actually said JDN 427. Was God trying to tell me something? 

Just now I googled John 4:27.. the heading before the verse says "The Disciples Rejoin Jesus".. 

hmmmmm... something to think about.

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky...

Good Morning!

I didn't work on the love dare so we aren't even going to go there.. I actually want to vent.

We all know I have 2 AMAZING little girls from my first marriage. Which means I have to "share" them with their father every other weekend, alternating holidays, and 4 weeks during the summer.. when it's convenient for him of course.

I have always had a couple problems with them going over there, but I have to remind myself that he is their "father".

Lately things have really been bothering me though.. Examples:

Kayleigh got in trouble, wasn't allowed to use facebook anymore. She opened another account behind my back that Baby Daddy's gf and the gf's sister knew about and did not tell either one of her parents. Then Kayleigh apologizes to her and the sister because they get mad at Kayleigh.. FOR WHAT!?

That same weekend.. Krysten is made to eat perogies, which are like a ravioli with cheese and mashed potatoes, everyone knows my little one does not eat cheese or mashed potatoes.. well people who actually know her. The gf forces Krysten to eat them.. Baby Daddy walks in the room and Krysten starts gagging. He gets mad and says not to make her eat them.. well when it's all over Krysten has to apologize to the gf for making her look like a bad person! WHAT THE HECK!?

Also, it was New Year's Eve that weekend.. I found out that my girls, 3 other girls their age, and 1 fifteen year old were left home alone to have a party and camp out in the yard.. The only adult supervision was someone's mom checking on them by looking out the window. Baby Daddy and his gf went out to party and took their son to a babysitter. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

If I ever tell him the girls are in trouble or that they did something wrong all he does is tell me he is going to spank them..(which he rarely follows through on but still, it's not the answer) When I told him about the facebook thing he took his gf's side and got mad at Kayleigh.. Kay is 11, his gf is an adult.. she should have come to one of her parents and told.. not "liked" that Kay started a secret facebook.

So when I picked them up at 8:30pm on Monday they get in the car and tell me they are hungry.. I'm like what do you mean.. haven't you had dinner? They say no, we were rushing and normally we don't eat dinner till around 10:00pm when we are there. OMG.

What can I even do about this? I know everyone parents different but shouldn't we be able to compromise a little since we have to co-parent.. 

When they come home from there they are exhausted, irritable, and bratty. It's hard for them to get up for school on Monday because they were free to do whatever they want over the weekend, go to sleep whenever they want, sleep as late as they want..

At our house we have a schedule.. things are done a certain way.. I know not everyone is the same but, really?

I know I could have it worse.. he pays child support, sees them pretty regularly, but shouldn't I be able to trust that the girls are being taken are of while they are there?

It's so FRUSTRATING..

Not to mention that he never helps with clothes, shoes, field trips, the only money or assistance I get is child support. They also are not allowed to bring anything home that they get over there.. presents, ect. But I am expected to send clothes and such when I send them over.. For Christmas they gave the girls $200 a piece instead of buying them anything.. They let them go and buy a bunch of junk toys, no clothes, shoes, things they actually need.. do they get to bring anything home? Of course not. I just wish he could be a little more responsible.

Ok, I'm done ranting for now. I just needed to get that out.

Just another manic Monday..

I have a lot to say and not a lot of time! It's hard to blog on the weekends..

So, we didn't go out this weekend. :( The husband was too sick.. So instead I started using my new (to me) sewing machine.I had never touched a sewing machine before and didn't even know where to start.. But I looked up the manual on my Nook, it didn't have one with it, and got started. I'm super excited. I'm not doing to bad for a beginner. I made a little tiny tote bag and gave it to my daughter, she keeps everything and would never judge me for my crooked seams. It's nice to have a hobby.. something that is all mine.

I am going to get back on track with the Love Dare thing this week. With the husband laying in bed all weekend I didn't have to try and be nice.. lol.

I dealt with facebook drama this weekend. I almost missed someone talking bad about me (calling me a bitch and rude, which I totally don't think I am) but happened to notice around 12:30am Saturday night/ Sunday morning. It makes me question why I have facebook.. but at the same time this RARELY happens to me and I like being able to communicate with friends and family that I normally wouldn't get to keep up with. I tried not to let the drama get to me but it did.. a little. I still chose to act like an adult and not let my mouth get the best of me.. which is more then I can say about some people.

I'm back on track with my diet and will be forcing myself to work out when I get home. I set up my own little room in the house with my treadmill, elliptical, and sewing machine.. I am super proud of it too! When I finish decorating I will try and post some pictures.

Here is the basics of the love dare for today.

Well first, day 5 and 6.. I will be working on these today too.

Day 5 -- Love is not rude.

There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, of course, is a good thing. A child is born ignorant of etiquette, needing lots of help and taining. Adults, however, display their ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In face, you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with.


Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that cuases life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?

Here are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do, If in doubt, then ask.

Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

In your journal:

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve theses areas?

Day 6 -- Love is not irritable.

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

In your journal:

Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it? What decisions have you made today?

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -- Proverbs 15:32"

Ok and today's:

Day 7 -- Love believes the best

Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.

It's time to start thinking differently. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should ever go into this room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the walls.

It's time to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you.

You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. it is a decision that you make, whethere they deserve it or not.

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

In your journal:

Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

Tomorrow I will post about all of these..

:)

boys are sissies.

I am sitting here listening to my husband snore. He has been in a foul mood all night because he doesn't feel good.. in my opinion its allergies. He took night time cold medicine (thank God) and is sleeping peacefully.

Why are guys such babies when they don't feel good? You know what happens when I have problems with allergies... nothing. I put on my big girl panties and keep on trucking.

I guess that is why women have the babies.. men just couldn't handle it.