Yes I am aware I am way behind.. My thoughts are in bold.
Day 5 -- Love is not rude.
There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, of course, is a good thing. A child is born ignorant of etiquette, needing lots of help and taining. Adults, however, display their ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In face, you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with.
Test yourself with these questions:
*How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them? I am generally the nicer of the 2 of us. :)
* How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem? He has mentioned that I make him feel bad when I get bummed out (he calls it pouting, I disagree) that we aren't going out or doing something that I wanted to do, I guess I could work on Containing those emotions better.
*Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing? He does think I am a blessing, he has told me more than once that he knows God sent me to him to change his life for the better.
There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, of course, is a good thing. A child is born ignorant of etiquette, needing lots of help and taining. Adults, however, display their ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In face, you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with.
Test yourself with these questions:
*How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them? I am generally the nicer of the 2 of us. :)
* How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem? He has mentioned that I make him feel bad when I get bummed out (he calls it pouting, I disagree) that we aren't going out or doing something that I wanted to do, I guess I could work on Containing those emotions better.
*Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing? He does think I am a blessing, he has told me more than once that he knows God sent me to him to change his life for the better.
Now I am in no way saying I am a perfect wife or I am always polite. But I will say I try very hard to be as nice as possible.
Here are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:
1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do, If in doubt, then ask.
The first 2 we have talked about a lot recently, last night even, this is something we need to work on. From the beginning of our relationship we have always done everything together. But now that we have been together for awhile we both would like to be able to do things separately (see friends and such). The problem is when I go somewhere he is always rushing me to get home or doesn't want me to go.. and when he does something without me I do the same thing.. even though I don't want him to do it to me.. But like I said, we are not perfect and definitely a work in progress.
Dare:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
The questions:
What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? This was actually pretty hard for him.. which is fine with me! This is what he came up with.
Dare:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
The questions:
What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? This was actually pretty hard for him.. which is fine with me! This is what he came up with.
1. My driving
2. Facebook
3. My choice of TV shows
How did you handle hearing it? I was ok with these, they aren't "bad", I asked him if there was anything about my personality and he said no, but to get back with him when he is mad at me and he is sure he will have many things to add to this list.
What do you plan to do to
improve theses areas?
1. My driving- This is pretty easy, I normally just let him drive, from now on he will always drive if we are in the car together.
2. Facebook- I understand that he doesn't like facebook, but I love facebook, do I love it more than I love my husband? Of course not, but I do enjoy being able to stay in touch with so many people that if not for facebook I would never talk to. I am going to agree to not be on facebook when I am around him.. evenings.. or anytime we are spending time together, no obsessively checking on my phone, my nook, the computer, whatever electronic device I can get my hands on. If it becomes a more serious issue than I will delete my account.
3. My choice of TV shows- this one.. well there isn't really a remedy for. He hates reality TV, I love it. He hates "girl" shows, I'm a girl. He would watch Fox News Channel all day everyday, I can't stand it, I feel like all they do is bicker. It annoys me. We try to watch shows we both enjoy when we are both in the room. But we have to have our own likes and dislikes so he is going to have to get over the fact that I might flip the channel to Jersey Shore when he walks out of the room. :)
Next time he gets mad and gives me more things that irritate him I will let you know!
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