3 months...

So, it's been 3 months almost exactly since I blogged last.  I was asked by my (almost) sister in law if I was still blogging... Um, nope. But why not? I just went back and read a couple of my old blogs.. Ugh, I am terrible at following through on ANYTHING! 


So here is my list from January..

In no particular order:

1. Be nicer. I know most of you think I am nice, but I could be nicer.. especially to the people closest to me. I'm still working on this.. not doing terrible.

2. Be a better football fan, I didn't watch my teams enough in 2011.. I plan on changing that in 2012. It's not football season yet.

3. Grow my hair out.. Yes, I am aware I say this every year.. but this time I mean it.. I'm still growing it... it's rough, but I'm doing it.

4. Lose weight, the healthy way. I have tried pills, fad diets, all that.. but it always comes back. I want to lose weight the natural way.. diet and exercise.. I plan on changing my lifestyle so that I don't end up right back where I started. Ha, I have totally sucked at this one.. but as of today we are trying again.. I'll keep you updated.

5. Be the best mom I can to Kayleigh and Krysten. I think I am doing this one.. My goal is to be a better mom than I ever had.

6. Have a baby. I know this is partly out of my control. We have been trying for over a year and it hasn't happened. If by the end of 2012 we still have not conceived I would like to look into fostering or adoption. This hasn't happened, but this is out of my control.. EVERYONE around me seems to be getting pregnant though. :(

7. See my parents more. They are actually pretty fun people. Yikes, I haven't done this.. I am seeing them this weekend.

8. Stop complaining about having to go to work. I have a job. I should appreciate that. I am actually MUCH happier at work now, I have new responsibilities, I love being busier.

9. Blog. I have thoughts go through my mind all the time.. I need to record them somewhere. This seems to work for me. Eh, I fell of the blogging wagon.

10. Stop letting people get to me. I can't help it. I am hyper-sensitive in certain situations. Some people get under my skin very easily. I'm praying about this. It's still an issue for me.


Starting today I am back to blogging. Just maybe not as often as I used to.

We are dieting again, the husband and I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead it was very eye opening. Of course we are not going to strictly juice for 60 days, but we are going to have smoothies, yes the yucky green kind and eat non-processed foods only.  This morning I had a banana and basil smoothie and for lunch I am having a smoothie called The Laughing Gorilla. Here is a picture... yum.

It has romaine lettuce, mango, orange, banana, and I don't remember what else.

Stuck in the middle with you..

Heeyyyyy... I am not too good at this blogging thing anymore.

Updates.

I have been thinking about how I didn't have a wedding a lot lately. It REALLY bothers me. I want a wedding, pictures, a dress, our families there.. Is it stupid to do it for our 2 year anniversary? I read the vow renewal "etiquette" and it says anytime is ok if you never had a wedding.

My cousin is pregnant, I am happy for her, VERY jealous, but happy. I am one of the first people she told, she was scared to tell me, because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. :( I do not hold it against anyone that y'all are getting pregnant. When the time is right it will happen for me or it won't. There isn't too much I can do about it.

We still haven't decided where we want to live. This is a big decision. The kids want to stay in Mandarin, unless we have a pool, then they are willing to move anywhere. We have thought about moving to Folkston. John has a job opportunity up there, but that is a BIG move. I don't know what to do.

I haven't been working out. John says he will start doing the 10 minute trainer with me. I hope that will help. When I get home I just want to sit down and relax, not work out. Lately I have been reading.. A LOT. I keep getting super interesting books. I don't think I turned the tv on last night, I just read. I finished my 4th book in like a week, I think.

The girls are doing awesome, A-B honor roll. I got really lucky when it comes to kids.. mine are amazing, well behaved, smart, beautiful. This weekend they are going to be models for a cousin of mine that is a photographer. They are super excited.

My braces are crazy. My teeth are moving SO fast. I don't recognize my mouth when I look in the mirror anymore. I'm definitely used to them now.

Oh, I haven't been sewing lately, but Sunday I bought fabric to make Krysten a quilt and curtains for her room. I can't wait to start! Her new favorite colors are pink and green. I'll post pictures when it's finished.

Ok, that's all for now. Feel free to give me your opinion on the wedding and moving stuff... I am confused about what to do.

Remember me?

Ok, so it's been awhile. 

I haven't been working out too much. Surprise.

Things have been going good at home. We are working on saving money, fun stuff. We are trying to decide between moving to the country and staying in Mandarin. Where will we be happier in the long run? We want to buy a house, but we have to be sure of the area we plan on living in long term. This is a really hard decision. Where will the kids be happier? Where will it be safer? Lately we have been leaning towards Callahan.. I know the kids will be upset, but I just feel like it might be safer out there. 

I just deleted the rest of this.. Sorry, I decided not to let everyone see it.

You mighta heard I run with a dangerous crowd.. ♪♫

Helloooo...

It's Friday! Yay! Not that I have big plans or anything, but I don't have to come to work tomorrow!

I am ashamed to admit I have lost interest in the Love Dare a little.. I am going to get myself back interested in it. I want to watch the movie about it this weekend.

I have been really struggling with the whole baby thing this week. More and more people I know are getting pregnant. I am happy for them, but it makes me sad for me! Honestly I don't think I will ever have another one. I'm not sure why I feel that way, but I do, like in my heart I already know there won't be anymore babies for me. Now, if I could just come to terms with it my life would be a little less stressful. I wouldn't be sad EVERY single month, I wouldn't get my hopes up, I wouldn't cry when the inevitable happens every month. I am going to work on this, I'm just not sure how.

I gained 3 lbs back when I got my teeth pulled and sadly I have not gotten rid of those lbs. I haven't gained any, but still. I'm getting back to working out hard core. I think I am going to start bringing Tony Horton to work with me. I'm in the back of the office alone so I can workout for my lunch break. That will also be easier because once I get home I do NOT feel like working out. I will blog about how it goes.

For those who want an update on my teeth, they are better, not as painful. Still an annoyance, but not nearly like they were. I went yesterday and had them cut the wires that were bothering me. and the pushed down one of the cleats on one of the bands because it was bothering me. I can't wait till my next appointment.. my teeth are already starting to move. I took a picture of them but I am too scared to post it. When I'm all done with these braces I will post up close pictures.. like before and after! :)

John and I...

I know you aren't supposed to believe this stuff, but it's actually pretty accurate, I'm the Leo and John is the Capricorn. 

Leo and Capricorn basically have some communication differences, still they feel attracted towards each other but definitely with a different approach. Leo is insatiably expressive in love relationships, often impulsive, and very demonstrative too. On the other hand, Capricorn possesses a steadier and practical view towards relationships which is full of realistic behavior.
Capricorn man is very quiet, subdued person who is very dedicated towards his ambitions and frugal with his money. He is not much for the social life or the luxuries rather he is a simple man with simple needs. He is reserved with his feelings and chooses to keep them from the rest of the world. He has the patience needed to help him deal with controversy but generally likes to avoid such situations. He likes to see his lady in the role of woman only. He cares and protects his lady love with true devotion and loyalty but always keeps his upper hand.
Leo woman is strong, extremely independent and out going woman. She loves to be the center of attraction and always is the flavor of the parties with admirers all around her. She is impulsive and frivolous with money and luxuries are the one thing she buys for her royal taste at any cost. She expects to be worshipped but never fathoms the idea of doing so for others. A natural born leader, she is both glamorous as well as gregarious. She loves and respects her man in every possible way but expects the same from him, rather a little more admiration and command.
Capricorn man admires Leo woman for her natural poise and pride. He loves her for her graciousness. She is on her toes when it comes to the art of conversation and can manipulate her words to get what she wants and this is where the Capricorn man salutes her intellect and admires her. She seems to be on a much higher scale than her Capricorn man. Prestige and class follow her as well as envy and admiration from many others. There are a few moments when this attitude of Leo woman creates troubles for her Capricorn man as he is more an introvert and home bound person with traditional mind-set for women especially his woman. But her generous nature and willing to forgive grabs attention of Capricorn man and her warmth and courage is something he always need.
Although Leo woman and Capricorn man seem quite the opposites, they actually have qualities the other craves, which pulls them together. His laid back attitude in life and success with money make his thrifty mind envy to others around him. She needs a man who can carry her luxurious and royal temperament for her. She wants a lover who can keep her in her status and he fits well in that position. He is well equipped to gain such qualities. Capricorn man’s determination and loyalty is well favored by his Leo lady, however, she may think of him as bitter, impassive, selfish, and penny-pinching while he sees her as being vain, spoiled, self-centered and arrogant. But together they fulfill the missing part of each other, making their partner feel complete in all dimensions of life and love.
As these two very different lovers discover the magic of unconditional love, the Leo woman and Capricorn man love, learn and grow together in an exciting adventure. There is an eternal and compelling call of affection in their spirits that keep them intact. Leo woman always needs the strength and stability of her Capricorn man while he always needs her warmth and courage. They always experience thrilling moments in their relationship that make their lives a beautiful memory to be cherished till eternity. On one hand the Capricorn man promises his Leo lady a magnificent view of life from the top of success and love and on the other the Leo woman promises her Capricorn man some most amazing and lovely paths to be discovered. Their promises are sturdy and so is the essence of their unison!
When the earthiness of Capricorn man and fire of Leo woman match up physically, they create a pleasure ultimate oneness. His touch is gentle towards her. She may not feel the affection immediately through her vanity that becomes her, but over the time she does. He melts her heart with his gentle approach and shows her the hidden power of his sexuality. Luckily for her, he is patient enough to wait for her to realize just how wonderful lovemaking can be if she just relaxes and stops thinking about her so much. Perhaps then she is able to uncover the core of the deeply rooted passion and experience that he can truly give. He knows, his patience will pay off and he will reap the benefits of uncovering the eloquence he knows lies just below his Leo woman’s shallow surface. She is the ultimate untamed lover with strong passion and burning desires, and he just has the right qualities to unleash this from her. His extreme attraction toward her is the basis for this due to her need to feel truly enamored and desired. Through the time — they make their love making a better and wonderful experience — bringing them closer physically and emotionally.
One weak point in a Capricorn man and Leo woman relationship is his overprotective and controlling nature toward her and her need for independence. She may want to rethink being so self-governing, or at least consult him in what she wants to do. This may ease his frustrations a bit as she bounds away and into society without him. He has to learn to trust that even though she needs to roam free, she knows enough to return back to him unscathed and still as loyal as she was when she left and he has to do it with an enthusiastic tone. If she senses reluctance or unwillingness from him, it is not effective and the happy peace and harmony in their relationship is destroyed. While she needs to look for his needs and should spend much time around him sharing his dreams to make him feel secure and loved.

You know you love me, I know you care.. ♪♫

Happy Valentine's Day!

This morning I woke up with John.. 04:45.. ugh.. I watched him get ready, waiting for him to say Happy Valentine's day.. I almost said it once.. But I didn't, and neither did he!

I went all day a little mad at him, but eventually he did say it. He claims he was just trying to surprise me tonight. We will see.

Last night when I got home I cooked, dinner and guess what!? I worked out! Tony Horton totally kicked my butt. No more breaks for me, it had only been 2 weeks and it was super rough starting over. I just want to be skinny! Or pregnant.. either one.. if I am going to be fat I at least want there to be a good reason!

It's really hard watching everyone I know conceive, I don't understand why I can't!

So I am doing this 30 Day Song Challenge on facebook, tomorrow is a song that reminds you of someone.. That is easy and hard! There are ALOT of songs that remind me of people, not all of them I want to remember.. I think I know what I am going to pick though.

So far these have been my songs:

day 01 - your favorite song- Patience- Guns N Roses, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song right now, I know I am a few decades behind, but who cares!
day 02 - your least favorite song- Pumped Up Kicks- Foster the People, I can't stand this song.
day 03 - a song that makes you happy- Move- MercyMe, this song puts me in a good mood no matter what, especially the live version.
day 04 - a song that makes you sad- He Stopped Loving Her Today- George Jones, this was a little hard for me, there aren't many songs that make me sad, but this song is really depressing and another sad one is Concrete Angel- Martina McBride. :(

You might have noticed I haven't talked about Baby Daddy lately, it's only because his family and his GF's family are reading this for some reason and I just don't want to argue. Not that things are going any better. If you are curious just email me.. haha.

Ok, Love Dare.

Love Dare Day 17:

Love Promotes Intimacy
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. – Proverbs 17:9 NIV
You can be close to a good friend you’ve known since childhood or college days. You can be close to a sibling, your parents, or a cousin who’s about your same age. But nothing rivals the closeness that’s experienced between a husband and wife. Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships.
That’s why we need it so much. Each of us comes into life with an inborn hunger to be known, love, and accepted. We want people to know your name, to recognize us when they see us, and to value who we are. The prospect of sharing our home with another person who knows us down to the most intimate detail is part of the deep pleasure of marriage.
Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at a depth we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It’s both the fire and the fear of marriage.
Which of these are you experiencing the most in your home right now? Are the secrets your spouse knows about you reasons for shame, or reason for drawing you closer? If your spouse were to answer this same question, would they say you make them feel safe, or scared?
If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else. Perhaps you might look to another person initiating a relationship that either flirts with adultery or actually enters in. You may look for comfort in work or outside hobbies, something that partially shields you from intimacy but also keeps you around people who respect and accept you.
Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they ought to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet. The Bible says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The atmosphere in your marriage should be one of freedom. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, your closeness should only intensify your intimacy. Being “naked” and “not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25) should exist in the same sentence, right in your marriage – physically and emotionally.
Admittedly, this is tender territory. Marriage has unloaded another person’s baggage into your life, and yours into theirs. Both of you have reason to feel embarrassed that this much has been revealed about you to another living soul. But this is your opportunity to wrap all this private information about them in the protective embrace of your love, and promise to be the one who can best help him or her deal with it.
Some of these secrets may need correcting. Therefore, you can be an agent of healing and repair – not by lecturing, not by criticizing, but by listening in love and offering support.
Some of these secrets just need to be accepted. They are part of this person’s make-up and history. And though these issues may not be very pleasant to deal with, they will always require a gentle touch.
In either case, you and you alone wield the power either to reject your spouse because of this or to welcome them in – warts and all. They will either know they’re in a place of safety where they are free to make mistakes, or they will recoil into themselves and be lost to you, perhaps forever. Loving them well should be your life’s work.
Think of it this way. No one knows you better than God does, the One who made you. The writer of Psalm 139 was right when he said, “You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it all” (Psalm 139:2-4).
And yet God, who knows secrets about us that we even hide from ourselves, loves us at a depth we cannot begin to fathom. How much more should we – as imperfect people – reach out to our spouse in grace and understanding, accepting them for who they are and assuring them that their secrets are safe with us?

This may be an area where you’ve really failed in the past. If so, don’t expect your mate to immediately give you wide-open access to their heart. You must begin to rebuild trust. Jesus Himself is described as One who doesn’t barge into people’s lives but who stands at the door and knocks. “If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and I will dine with him, and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).
The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop, especially after being compromised. But your commitment to re-establishing it can happen today – for anyone willing to take the dare.

Today’s Dare

Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.
For me this isn't too hard, John knows almost everything about me.. it's the listening to his thoughts and struggles that is the hardest for me. Like when he complains about work, i want him to look at the bright side instead of complaining, which then makes him not want to tell me. I am going to work on this. 

I'm also thinking of printing all of the Love Dare out so he can work on it with me.. maybe when I am done with the 40 days. 

Happy Valentine's Day again!!


I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3)

With some roly-poly, little bat-faced girl. ♪♫

You guessed it.. I didn't workout. But Whatever. I am tonight.

Maybe I will just stay fat the rest of my life. I am eating better. I would LOVE to eat the cupcake that is in the kitchen right next to my cubicle, but I'm not.

I have a headache right now. I think it is allergies, but I took Claritin this morning and I don't know if I can take it more than once a day. I threw the box away. :(

I had a pretty good weekend, a not so good Friday. I am becoming such a home-body.

Friday- I was having a pretty good day at work until I found out that I had sent my resume to the owner of my company's business partner and he in return sent it to the owner who sent it to my boss. Stupid Craigslist!! But no one mentioned it to me. So then all weekend I worried about getting fired. I couldn't sleep Friday because of it!

Saturday- The girls were at their Dad's this weekend and John worked Saturday so I went to my Uncle's birthday lunch alone. When John got off we went to his Mama's house, he worked in the garage with his Dad while I got to chit chat with his Mom, we had DELICIOUS chicken and dumplings.. by the time we got home we were both pretty tired.

Sunday- I cleaned house and then sewed pretty much all day. I really love sewing.. I never realized how much I would like it. Not that I am great at it, but I am decent. I love seeing the finished project at the end.

 Our bedroom curtains.. made by me!!

 Throw pillows!

Valance for the master bathroom.

Ok, Love Dare. My thoughts at the bottom.

Day 16-
Love Intercedes

Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. – 3 John 2

You cannot change your spouse. As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heart and mold them into what you want them to be. But that’s what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do – change their spouse.

Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But isn’t that what happens when you try to change your mate? It’s frustration at the highest level. At some point you have to accept that it’s not something you can do. But here’s what you can do. You can become a “wise farmer.”

A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit. But he can plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds, and then turn it over to God. Millions of farmers have made a livelihood from this process over the centuries. They know that not every seed sprouts. But most will grow when planted in proper soil and given what they need.

There is no guarantee that anything in this book will change your spouse. But that’s not what this book is about. It’s about daring to love. If you take the Love Dare seriously, there is a high likelihood that you will be personally changed from the inside out.

And if you carry out each dare, your spouse will likely be affected and your marriage will begin to bloom in front of your eyes. It may take weeks. It may even take years. But regardless of the soil you’re working with, you are to plan for success. You are to get weeds out of your marriage. You are to nurture the soil of your mate’s heart and then depend on God for the results.

But you won’t be able to do this alone. You will need something that is more powerful than anything else you have. And that is effective prayer.

Prayer really does work. It’s a spiritual phenomenon created by an unlimited, powerful God. And it yields amazing results.

Do you feel like giving up on your marriage? Jesus said to pray instead of quitting (Luke 18:1). Are you stressed out and worried? Prayer can bring peace to your storms (Philippians 4:6-7) Do you need a major breakthrough? Prayer can make the difference (Acts 12:1-7).

God is sovereign. He does things His way. He’s not a genie in a lamp that submits to your every wish. But He does love you and desires an intimate relationship with you. This doesn’t happen apart from prayer.

There are some key elements that must be in place for prayer to be effective. But suffice to say that prayer works best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. The Bible says, “Confess sins to one another, and pray for one another … The effective prayer of righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16).

Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse’s hidden faults? Do you really think it’s for endless nagging? No, it is for effective kneeling. No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you.

Has your scolding or nagging been working? The answer is no, because that’s not what changes a heart. It is time to try talking to God in your prayer closet instead.

A husband will find that God can “fix” his wife a lot better than he can. Wife will accomplish more through strategic prayer than from all her persuasive efforts. It is also a much more pleasant way to live.

So turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. If your spouse doesn’t have any type of relationship with God, then it’s clear what you need to start praying for.

Beyond this, begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for his heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for your spouse’s responsibilities before God. Pray for truth to replace lies. Pray for forgiveness would replace bitterness. Pray for your heart’s desires – for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level.

One of the most loving things you can ever do for your spouse is to pray for them. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to” (Matthew 7:7)

Today’s Dare

Begin Praying for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.

Have you experienced the power of prayer in the past? This Love Dare is pretty personal, but yes, I have experienced the power of prayer before.
What did you choose to pray about? I'm not going to say. :)

Was it easy for you, or did it feel foreign to you? It is easy for me. I pray every morning on my way to work. No radio, no phone, just me and God. I had gotten away fro it for awhile, but I have been doing better lately.

I suck. I know.

Ok, I know I haven't blogged in awhile.. but it's because I haven't been doing what I am supposed to!
I haven't worked out at all, I haven't eaten terribly, but I could do better. Like, I didn't need those 3 chicken tenders Kayleigh brought home last night.. and I probably shouldn't have just ate that cupcake my co-worker brought in..
 I haven't been doing much besides working. I did see the BFF this weekend, which was nice. I also had a really great time fishing with the husband. It was fun, just the two of us.

My teeth are better, I am almost used to these stinking braces.They are still uncomfortable, but definitely manageable. They will be better after my next appointment. Right now I have wires poking me because of where they cut them to extract the 4 teeth. I'm not regretting them as much now.

I haven't focused on the Love Dare this week, I am going to get back to it starting today though. I could just wait for Monday, but there is no time like the present, right? I really wish I would have bought the book, but I didn't so I am relying on the Internet. FUN.

I also have a new product that I absolutely LOVE. It's called Yes To Carrots. It is a lip balm but it is tinted. I have the soft plum one now.. It is WONDERFUL!

Ok, back to the Love Dare..
So where did I leave off?

Day 15. 

Love is Honorable-This one is hard for me. I'm not sure how to show John I honor him. I already do the things the suggest.. but I am not sure he sees it as honor. Here you go.

There are certain words in our language that have powerful meanings. Whenever these words are used, an air of respect is associated with them. These words never lose their timeless quality, class, and dignity. One of these will be our focus for today. It is the word honor.
To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable. You are courteous and polite. When they speak to you, you take them seriously, giving their words weight and significance. When they ask you to do something, you accommodate them if at all possible, simply out of respect for who they are.
The Bible tells us to “honor” our father and mother, as well as those in authority. It is a call to acknowledge the position or value of someone else. Honor is a noble word.
This is especially true in marriage. Honoring your mate means giving him or her your full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television. When decisions are being made that affect both of you or your whole family, you give your mate’s voice and opinion equal influence in your mind. You honor what they have to say. They matter – and because of the way you treat them, they should know it.
But there’s another word that calls us to a higher place, a word that isn’t often equated with marriage, though its relevance cannot be understated. It’s a word that actually forms the basis for honor – the very reason why we give respect and high regard to our husband or wife. That word is holy.
To say to your mate should be “holy” to you doesn’t mean that he or she is perfect. Holiness means they are set apart for a higher purpose – no longer common or everyday but special and unique. A person who has become holy to you has a place no one can rival in your heart. He or she is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised, and defended.
A bride treats her wedding dress this way. After wearing it on her special day, she covers and protects it, then sets it apart from everything else in her closet. You won’t catch her in it when she’s working in the yard or going out on the town. Her wedding dress has value all its own. In this way, it is holy and sacred to her.
When two people marry, each spouse becomes “holy” to each other by way of “holy matrimony.” This means no other person in the whole world is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment from you. Your relationship is like no other. Your share physical intimacy with only her, only him. You establish a home with this person. You bear your children with this person. Your heart, your possessions, your life itself is to be wrapped up in the uncommon bond you share with this one in individual.

Is that the way it is in your marriage? Would your mate say you honor and respect them? Do you consider them set apart and highly valued? Holy?

Perhaps you don’t feel this way and maybe for good reason. Perhaps you wish some outsider could see the level of disrespect you get from your wife or husband – someone who would make your mate feel embarrassed to be exposed for who they really are behind closed doors.
But that’s not the issue with love. Love honors even when it’s rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.
It’s marvelous, of course, when a husband and wife are joined in this purpose, when they’re following the biblical command to be “devoted to one another” in love, when they’re giving “preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10). “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4 NIV).
But when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That’s what love dares to do – to say, “Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I’m willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults – past and present – I will choose to love and honor you.” That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.


Today’s Dare

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
Ok, as I have said before we have very traditional roles in our house.. I do all the "womanly" things, so I am not sure how to show him "honor". I even asked him how I could show him I honor him.. he didn't have an answer. 

2 days, 1 post.

I would love a Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chip. Yes, I am hungry. I guess not sticking to my diet is catching up with me.. I gained 3 lbs back.

Last night didn't go as planned. We ended up going to Cross Creek for dinner. I had fried pickles, 2 margaritas, BBQ pork, and a baked potato. The service was HORRIBLE.. but the food was ok.. just not part of my low cal plan!

By the time we got home I did not work out and I did not talk to John about the love dare.

Ok, all that was from yesterday. For some reason I wasn't in the mood to blog.

Yesterday I did do well on my diet, I didn't eat any chips.. as well as today. The scale is moving in the right direction again too! But, no working out still! I am putting my shoes on and working out as soon as I get home today though.

When I got home yesterday John stayed in the kitchen with me while I cooked. I had him watch the Love, Marriage and Fairy-tales youtube video and I also had him read the Love Dare... I haven't actually shown him any of them up until now. But the day before we had talked about spending more time together and not just being in the same house.

Here is the Dare:

Love Takes Delight

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. – Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB

One of the most important things you should learn on your Love Dare journey is that you should not just follow your heart. You should lead it. You don’t let your feelings and emotions do the driving. You put them in the back seat and tell them where you’re going.

In your marriage relationship, you won’t always feel like loving. It is unrealistic for your heart to constantly thrill as the thought of spending every moment with your spouse. Nobody can maintain a burning desire for togetherness just one feelings alone. But it’s also difficult to love someone only out of obligation.

A newlywed takes delight in the one they now call their spouse. Their love is fresh and young, and the hopes for a romantic future linger in their hearts. However, there is something just as powerful as that fresh, new love. It comes from the decision to delight in your spouse and to love him or her no matter how long you’ve been married. In other words, love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In many ways, it’s a truer love because it has its eyes wide open.

Left to ourselves, we’ll always lean toward being disapproving of one another. She’ll get on your nerves. He’ll aggravate you. But our days are too short to waste in bickering over pretty things. Life is too fleeting for that.

Instead, it’s time to lead your heart to once again delight in your mate. Enjoy your spouse. Take her hand and seek her companionship. Desire his conversation. Remember why you fell in love with her personality. Accept this person – quirks and all – and welcome him or her back into your heart.

Again, you get to choose what you treasure. It’s not like you’re born with certain pre-sets and preferences you’re destined to operate from. If you’re irritable, it’s because you choose to be. If you can’t function without a clean house, it’s because you’ve decided no other way will do. If you pick at your mate more than you praise them, it’s because you’ve allowed your heart to be selfish. You’ve led yourself into criticism.

So now it’s time to lead your heart back out. It’s time to learn to delight in your spouse again, then to watch your heart actually start enjoying who they are.

Today’s dare may be directing you to a real and radical change of heart. For some, the move toward delight may be only a small step away. For others, it may require a giant leap from ongoing disgust.

But if you’ve been delighted before – which you were when you married – you can be delighted again. Even if it’s been a long time. Even if a whole lot has happened to change your perceptions.

The responsibility is yours to relearn what you love about this one to whom you’ve promised yourself forever.





Today’s Dare



Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just to be together.
It's crazy we were just talking bout this! We have agreed to get off our phones, the internet, my nook.. all things that we pay attention to and just hang out and talk to each other. Now of course last night didn't go exactly as planned.. at first it did , but then I said something that made him mad and it just went down hill from there. But this morning he woke up and apologized and told me that I am a good wife and how much he loves me. Wish us luck for tonight!

Shame on me.

Ok, I am a little ashamed to admit I did not work out last night..


oh... did I mention I had a cupcake at work (it was my boss' birthday) and we ate at Golden Corral for dinner?

I know.. HORRIBLE. I didn't eat terrible at GC though.. and I didn't have dessert.. only because the chocolate fountain wasn't working.. hahahahahahaha. It wasn't entirely my fault.. the girls wanted to go there because they got good grades. How could I say no? I really don't even like GC.

I am so working out tonight though.

I didn't really talk to John about the Love Dare, but tonight I am talking to him about today's. It just happens to be something we talked about this morning. :)

I also feel like I am having some friend problems. I kinda feel like some people want to see me fail. When it comes down to it my only best friend is my husband. There is no one I feel that I could really count on besides him. No one to confide in and tell my secrets to. I do tell my mother in law most things. She has pretty much become the closest thing I have to a best friend.


Oh and one more thing... there were left over cupcakes... I totally had one for breakfast! :)

 Before

After

 It was so YUMMMMMMY too!

More on the Love Dare tomorrow!

Back to real life.

I'm back!

Having braces put on and then having 4 teeth pulled is rough!

I did get a small vacation from work because of it, but I felt like crap the whole time.

I'm just focusing on the fact that it will all be worth it in the end.

I am getting back on track tonight with the workout and Love Dare. I'm actually getting excited about working out. I can't wait to see my friend Tony Horton! I love watching the scale go down. I am skipping LD Day 13, it won't work in my house.. but here it is in case you wanted to read.. My thoughts are in BOLD!

I did have a busy weekend once I started feeling better, Saturday John woke up and went fishing with his friend at like 6am. I got up and took the girls and their friend Peyton to the mall, met my friend Jennifer, her sister, and 2 daughters up there, shopped for a little bit, had lunch and then came home. Tina brought baby Clare over so I could babysit and I took all the girls to my friends house. Yesterday I cleaned my carpets, went grocery shopping, and cleaned up a table that I am going to paint next weekend, I can't wait to get it finished! Oh! ..and I made a valance for the window in my bathroom and started curtains for my bedroom. :)

I will have more to post tomorrow!

LOVE DARE DAY 13

Love Fights Fair

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25

Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.

Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity.

At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you’re really made of. Work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. This sets the stage for disagreements to break out between the two of you. You argued and fought. You hurt. You experienced conflict. But you are not alone.

Every couple goes through it. It’s par for the course. But not every couple survives it.

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That’s because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You’re the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off the cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes.

But love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you’re fighting about. Love helps you install air bags and to set up guardrails in your relationship. It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

But how? The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you don’t have guidelines for how you’ll approach hot topics, you won’t stay in bounds when the action heats up.

Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: “we” boundaries and “me” boundaries.

“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:

1. We will never mention divorce.

2. We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

3. We will never fight in public or in front of our children.

4. We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.

5. We will never touch one another in a harmful way.

6. We will never go to bed angry with one another.

7. Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

“Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples:

1. I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).

2. I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.

Today’s Dare

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

In your journal:

If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? Most of these we already do.. minus the time out one.. lol. This just isn't something John is going to be able to follow if he is pissed off.

What rules did you write for yourself? For myself, I will work on listening before speaking, and I am already pretty good at keeping my voice down.

We have actually come a long way lately in our marriage. :)

Be of the same mind toward one another. (Romans 12:16)

Quick Update.

I am feeling a tiny bit better, finally getting used to the braces... a little. My mouth is still sore from having the teeth pulled. I have just been feeling super sick. But today I can at least get up. Yesterday I felt super sick anytime I sat up. I'm so ready to be 100% again!

I haven't ate much or been able to exercise.

Hopefully I will be back to normal next week!

You can call me Bubba.

I am sitting here with my mouth still paralyzed, I'm sure John loves it. LOL. What a perfect time to blog since I can't talk!

I got my braces put on yesterday.. It is not at all what I thought.

1. I didn't think it would hurt.
2. I thought I would be ok with them.
3. I thought I would look ok.
4. I thought I would be able to eat.. at least somethings.
5. I thought I would be SUPER happy.

Boy was I wrong.

1. THEY HURT!
2. They make me have a little anxiety, kind of like being claustrophobic.
3. I look HORRIBLE, seriously, The Real Housewives would be jealous of these luscious lips...
4. Eating everything hurts, even soft stuff because it means I have to close my mouth.
5. I have been doubting my decision.

I'm sure it will all be worth it.. 2 years is a long time though.

Now let's talk about having 4 teeth pulled in one day.
I did have nitrous, not that it helped. I cried a bunch. Those dang shots to numb you hurt a whole lot. I felt like they were going to pull my face off. It was weird. I was watching Nate Berkus and listening to the Harry Potter dentist talk.. I felt like I was in a cartoon. Now I am relaxing in bed with my pain medicine and a mouthful of gauze wondering if I made the right decision.

Ok, no more whining. :) Hopefully Love Dare and working out will be back on track soon.

Nervous.

Today is the day! I become a Brace Face in 1 hour 4 minutes. I am nervous and excited!

I didn't do the Love Dare this weekend. I didn't have my facebook and my email wasn't working so I didn't receive the questions.

I did however recover my kitchen chairs to match my valances I made.. lol. I'm not sure I like them but I can always change them. Here are some pictures.

Keep in mind I am new to the whole sewing thing!

Before, not  the greatest picture.

Before, gross.

After

 Don't ask why there is a jack handle in the window.

Next weekend we are going to distress the table so it all has a cottage kind of feel, sort of shabby chic.. :) I'll post pictures.

Oh, and I'm back on facebook. :) I know.. addicted.

Drama and Day 12... a big one.

As you know.. or most of you anyway, I am giving up facebook. This Dare will explain why.

But first, I worked out.. alone again last night. I didn't want to.. at all. But I forced myself. John did boy workouts n the garage with his punching bag, he said he is going to start back with me again next week.. we will see.

Baby Daddy has some how been reading all of my stuff.. He is not happy about it. We got in a big argument yesterday about it.. but it's my thoughts on my page and my blog. I haven't lied about anything and I have said many times that he does pay child support.. I just think he needs to step it up in other areas.. Whatev..

John was of course pissed.. He hates facebook and it all started because I posted things... well how was I to know my PRIVATE page would be shown to Baby Daddy. He doesn't exactly like Baby Daddy and would like me not to give him any reason to be more of a prick, it's already hard for John to keep his mouth shut.

Now you will see why yesterdays dare is such a big deal. I will explain it more at the end. (I'm in bold.)


Love Dare -- Day 12

Love lets the other win. (Seriously! Of all days.)

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4 (Not exactly what I wanted to hear...)

If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard. You might even be able to produce a top ten list if given a few more minutes. And sadly, unless someone at your house starts doing some giving in, these same issues are going to keep popping up between you and your mate. (For us there is really only a couple.. guess which one is the biggest)

Unfortunately, stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a foundational part of your nature and make-up. It's detrimental, though, inside a marriage relationship, and it steals away time and productivity. It can also cause great frustration for both of you.

Granted, being stubborn is not always bad. Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But too often we debate over piddling things, like the color of wall paint or the choice of restaurants.

Other times, of course, the stakes are much higher. One of you would like more children; the other doesn't. One of you wants to vacation with your extended family; the other doesn't. One of you prefers home-schooling your kids; the other doesn't. One of you thinks it's time for marriage counseling or to get more involved in a church, while the other doesn't. (or Facebook, as John calls it.. The Devils Work)

Though these issues may not crop up every day, they keep resurfacing and don't really go away. You never seem to get any closer to a resolution or compromise. The heels just keep digging in. It's like driving with the parking brake on. (So freaking true!)

There's only one way to get beyond stalemates like these, and that's by finding a word that's the opposite of stubbornness -- a word we first met back while discussing kindness. That word is "willing." It's an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations.

All it takes for your present arguments to continue is for both of you to stay entrenched and unbending. But the very moment one of you says, "I'm willing to go your way on this one," the argument will be over. And though the follow through may cost you some pride and discomfort, you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.

"Yes, but then I'll look foolish. I'll lose the fight. I'll lose control." You've already looked foolish by being bullheaded and refusing to listen. You've already lost the fight by making this issue more important than your marriage and your spouse's sense of worth. You may have already lost emotional control by saying things that got personal and hurt your mate.

The wise and loving thing to do is to start approaching your disagreements with a willingness to not always insist on your own way. That's not to say your mate is necessarily right or being wise about a matter, but you are choosing to give strong consideration to their preference as a way of valuing them.

No, you won't always see eye-to-eye. You're not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won't have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.

Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run -- especially in eternity -- then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be both good for you and good for your marriage.

Today's Dare:

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first. I did this.. it didn't go as you would think.. I'll explain after the questions.

In your journal:

What issue did you choose? You guessed it.. FACEBOOK.
What did giving in cost you? Technically, nothing.. but I love facebook. It entertains me when I am bored, lets me keep in touch with people I wouldn't be able to normally, let's me vent.. you get the point. I have a slight facebook addiction.
How will this help you in the future? It will maybe stop a few arguments.. I can no longer see things that might make me mad and go back and tell John what I saw. No more "putting my business out there" which will also make my husband (and ex-husband) happy. I'm not sure how it will help me.. but it SHOULD please the husband. 


Now for how it went down.


I have an extremely close relationship with my mother in law. She seriously is one of my best friends. I tell her everything. John doesn't talk to her as much as I do.. Well yesterday after the big blow up with Randy and then with John when I tried to tell him about Randy I called her. I was driving home, I had read the Dare and I knew what I needed to do. When she answered I asked how she was feeling and stuff. I then told her I was giving up facebook. Her reply, "Good". It took me by surprise, but then she explained that John had called her and was really upset about the whole situation and he just really doesn't understand why I need facebook to begin with. 


I get home and ask John to go to the store with me.. I explain to him that I am giving up facebook for him and about the dare and how I am letting him win. His reply, you don't have to do that, you should get rid of it because you want to not because of me. He actually got kind of mad at me, we argued, I cried, I did my best to explain what this said and that the whole point is to do it for him. I'm not sure how it will end but for now.. no more facebook. Later today I will be deactivating my account. :( I thought he would be happy about it.. I text him and told him I was deactivating it today, he replied, "Thanks for the sacrifice, but its your decision".

Am I doing the right thing? Is this going to help? Time will tell.
Do I feel good about it? Not really. I think it sucks.. but that is the whole point I guess. 
I'm doing this for him.. "I'm willing to go his way on this one".


On my way to work I was praying about all this, asking for guidance and help because I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing.. Well I had happened to turn on KLOVE which I haven't been listening to lately and at the end of my conversation with God my most FAVORITE Christian song came on.. I'll post the video so you can hear it. It was even my favorite version.. the acoustic live version. 

I am still going to blog for now. I made it private so only a select few will be reading it. 

Come on let's sweat, baby...

I worked out without the husband.. again. Yesterday was Yoga Flex day. I would like to thank Tony Horton for showing me exactly how not flexible I am. Today is Cardio day again. John says he is going to workout with me, we will see. Cardio is the video that made him sore for 2 days and counting. As of yesterday he said his legs still hurt. It's exciting to see the scale go down a little everyday and it is awesome to know I am doing it the right way, no pills or fad diets.


I need to complain about the ex husband for a minute before talking about the Love Dare.


So last weekend was his weekend. I didn't hear from him all week and the girls had a slumber party they wanted to go to so I let them. At 9:34pm I get this text from his friend's phone. (I was in bed, this is actually spelling and grammar, no exaggerations)


Baby Daddy: Wats up. I wanna see my kids.
BD: I just gptta
BD: Home
BD: Were getm to old for
BD: This


ME: You need to start getting in touch with me before Friday. They are at their friends birthday party. They have plans on Sunday. Next weekend. But let me know before last minute I am tired of chasing you down every week.


BD: Every otjer weekemd there mine quit making them plans on my weekend


ME: I never know when you are getting them. It's up to you to get in touch with me. I can't get in touch with you. You don't have a phone.


BD: Ur act like ur, god


ME: I can't help peoples birthdays. When I count on you to get them you cancel. I never know what you are going to do.


BD: Well ive got to pay child support therd mine


ME: No I don't. But you should be able to pick up a phone before 930 Friday night.


BD: Ok dont ur cancel


ME: What?


BD: Two more months Imm done then im


ME: What? You are not making sense


So I called him... he claims the typing errors were because it is a touch-screen phone.. mhmm.  Basically he says that I should know that he is going to get them even though I don't hear from him. I have tried to explain to him that I can't count on him because he always cancels and that hearing from him at 9:30pm on the day he is supposed to pick them up is not acceptable. His reply is that he knows we don't get along and in June he is going to quit his job. WHAT!? How is that going to help anything? It is so frustrating. The conversation ended with him yelling F*ck You and hanging up on me. I didn't even raise my voice. I just said that he needs to let me know something before so late on the day we are supposed to meet. I then text and said: What is your deal? Just bc you are having a bad day you don't need to take it out on me.


So after all this do you think he has called to let me know he is getting them this weekend? Of course not. I haven't heard from him. I did just text his friend's phone to see if his friend would have him call me... but we will see what happens. I just feel like I shouldn't have to get in touch with him. If he wants to see the kids he should at least contact me and let me know that yes he is available or no he isn't... not just leave me hanging all the time.


I'm sure it's going to go over great when I tell him that Krysten has tutoring on Saturday and he needs to make sure she goes. UGH!


Ok, on to happier things.



Love Dare -- Day 11.

Love Cherishes.

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. -- Ephesians 5:28.

Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one. This not only happens physically but spiritually and emotionally. You start off sharing the same house, the same bed, the same last name. Your identity as individuals has been joined into one. When your spouse goes through a tragedy, both of you feel it. When you find success at your job, both of you rejoice. But somewhere along the way, you experience disappointment, and the sobering reality that you married an imperfect person sets in.

This, however, does not change the fact that your spouse is still a part of you. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it."

But there is a flip side to this coin. When you mistreat your mate, you are also mistreating yourself. Think about it. Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you. So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body.
Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that "he who loves his wife loves himself." And a wife should remember that when she loves him, she is also giving love and honor to herself.

When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life.

Today's Dare:

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile. I kind of did this the day before, so it was a little difficult for me. Plus he was crabby, he had a bad day at work and is worried about his Mom, she isn't feeling good.

In your journal:

What did you choose to show that you cherish your mate? I listened to him complain about work, I normally try to get him to look at the bright side which annoys the crap out of him. Instead I just listened and let him vent. I tried to be more patient and also asked him if there was anything I could do that would show how much I cherished him.. he gave me a devious look, but never came up with anything. :)
What did you learn from this experience? I'm not sure, but the night ended on a good note. I think he knows how much I cherish him and I have been working really hard on letting him know exactly how much I love him. I also asked him to watch the movie Fireproof with me, it's about this whole Love Dare.. he said he would. :)

'cause whenever you smile, I smile ♪♫

Last night when I got home from work John said he was too sore to work out. WHAT!? You mean that "stupid" video that was going to be a waste of money made it to where you could barely walk in only 10 minutes?? Hahaha. I am proud to say I worked out without him! Yep, sure did. Monday we did Cardio and last night I did Total Body. It was a lot of arm movement that I am not used to.. Today needless to say my arms ache a little when I type.. especially the left one. I have lost the weight I gained back over the weekend which is good! I have been working really hard on my diet.

I get my spacers for my braces today.. I am so excited.. and scared. Everyone keeps telling me how much it's going to hurt. I don't know if there has ever been a person who wanted braces as bad as I do. I can't wait to see the change in my teeth. I am getting the ceramic ones not the traditional metal braces.. maybe they won't be as noticeable, but honestly I don't care if they are, it will all be worth it in the end. :)



Ok, Love Dare. Again, I am totally shortening these. If you want the whole thing let me know. 
My thoughts are in bold.

Love Dare -- Day 10

Love is unconditional.

If someone were to ask you, "Why do you love your wife?" or "Why do you love your husband?" -- what would you say?

Most men would mention their wife's beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness, her inner strength. They might talk about her cooking, her knack for decorating, or what a good mother she is.

Women would probably say something about their husband's good looks or his personality. They'd commend him for his steadiness and consistent character. They'd say they love him because he's always there for them. He's generous. He's helpful.

But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on your answers above, the only logical response would be "no." If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities -- and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear -- your basis for love is over.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choose to love.

That's not to say, though, that love which began for the wrong reasons cannot be restored and redeemed. In fact, when you rebuild your marriage with agape as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.

And don't be surprised, when your spouse begins living confidently under it's shade, if he or she doesn't become even more lovable to you than you remember. You will no longer say, "I love you because...." You will say, "I love you, period."

Today's Dare:

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse -- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.Ok, so this was a little hard.. 1. I always do the laundry, cook, etc.. we definitely have the traditional husband/wife roles in our home, 2. The kids only chore is cleaning the kitchen, 3. We can't have dessert, we are dieting! 
So what I did instead was I made his plate and brought it to him in his recliner since his legs were so sore (we normally have family dinner at the table) and before we went to bed rubbed his legs and back and babied him just a little. I also shared a little bit of this dare with him.. up until now I haven't really told him about it.

In your journal:

Has your love in the past been based on your spouse's attributes and behavior, or on your commitment? I just love him, period. I can't even say in the beginning it was because of his attributes. I knew the minute I laid eyes on him I was going to marry him. I didn't know what he was like or anything. I just knew he was the one.I know God sent John to me and me to John.

How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for? I struggled with this over the weekend. I felt like I was trying so hard to make our marriage better and he was just being a jerk. I am just going to continue to work on me and us and hopefully when he sees and feels the difference in me it will start a change in him. I do not doubt John's love for me at all. I know he loves me unconditionally, he is just a little rough around the edges sometimes. I have tried to talk him into not using negative words, like in Love Dare Day 1. If you know my husband you know this is quite difficult for him.. baby steps though. ;)

Let's get physical..

The husband and I started our work out last night. We have been doing pretty good on our diet, minus this weekend.. but that won't happen again.

We ordered 10 minute trainer, it's created by Tony Horton, the same guy who created P90X. My excuse has always been "I don't have time to workout", but who doesn't have 10 minutes? You can do more if you want but each video is 10 minutes, 14 if you do the warm up and cool down (we did). Going into it of course the husband was skeptical.. 10 min.. sure.. this is going to be stupid. Well, it is 10 minutes of getting your butt kicked. We were both breathing hard and sweating by the end. I swear it might have been the slowest 10 minutes of my life.. lol. It has encouraged me to do more though. It was fun, we weren't able to keep up with Tony and his assistant, but we did pretty good for our first time. I LOVED that the husband did it with me! He is normally in pretty good shape and does "manly" workouts with weights and stuff. It was nice to have him next to me, motivating me. ♥ I can't wait for tonight's workout!

Today I go get the 2nd half of my deep cleaning, tomorrow my spacers, and Monday my braces! I seriously get butterflies just thinking about it. I can't wait to have straight teeth. The thing I hate most about my appearance is my smile, to have it fixed will be amazing. I have been going to Dr Joel David and Associates, the guy on tv. They are really as nice as they seem and my dentist kind of looks like Harry Potter with spikey hair.. lol. I'm so super excited. The only thing I'm a little scared of is that they are going to pull 4 teeth when I get my braces on.. eeeek! Oh, and it doesn't help that people keep telling me how bad it's going to hurt to get the braces. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end. ☺

Love Dare Day 9

John and I are still pretty much newlyweds..  Some of these things have not completely disappeared. I am going to improve on what we do now and make it a point to remember all of this daily so the We don't stop doing these things.

Day 9 - Love makes good impressions

You've covered some serious ground so far in this journey. Learning to demonstrate aspects of love like patience, kindness, and encouragement are not always easy but are certainly crucial to a healthy relationship. So dealing with the way you greet your spouse each day may seem inconsequential, but this small issue carries surprising significance.

You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another. You can see it in their expression and countenance, as well as how they speak to each other. It is even more obvious by their physical contact. But how much importance should you give a greeting? This raises an interesting question. How do you greet your friends, coworkers, and neighbors? How about acquaintances and those you meet in public? You may even encounter someone you don't necessarily like yet still acknowledge them out of courtesy. So if you're this nice and polite to other people, doesn't your spouse deserve the same? Times ten?

It's probably something you don't think about very often -- the first thing you say to him or to her when you wake up in the morning, the look on your face when you get in the car, the energy in your voice when you speak on the telephone. But here's something else you probably don't stop to consider -- the difference it would make in your spouse's day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them.


Think about your greeting. Do you use it well? Does your spouse feel valued and appreciated? Do they feel loved? Even when you're not getting along too well, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them.

Remember, love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose to love.

Today:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Questions:

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? When I got home from work I decided to be more enthusiastic. Normally I come home, kiss my husband, and start on whatever needs to be done. Instead I spent a little more time hugging and kissing him.. held on a little tighter. :) I also text him during the day and told him I couldn't wait to see him.

How will you change your greeting from this point on? I think making him feel a little more special was a good way to change it.. It changed the whole mood of the night. ♥

Quick update.

This weekend we were invited to my cousin's baby's baptism. While we were getting ready this is our conversation.

Kayleigh: Isn't that where they drown the baby?
ME: No, they aren't going to drown the baby! They just sprinkle water on it's head.

Later, on the way to the baptism we are talking about it again.. I was telling John about "drowning" the baby and Krysten says..


Krysten: How long are they going to hold the baby under water?
ME: They aren't holding the baby under water! They are just sprinkling water on it's head.

I guess they are a little confused.

In other news, I have lost a few pounds.. just changing my diet. We are starting a new workout tonight. I am excited and nervous! We are going to take "before" pictures.. ugh. I will keep everyone posted on how it goes! I might post the "before" pictures.. but only after I have super hot "after" pictures! lol.

Working on Day 9 of the love dare.. I will post about it later. :)

Me complaining and day 8.

I'm still catching up.. that is why it's not technically the next day.

I normally don't post the whole love dare but I think I am today. Am I jealous of these people that are getting what I want? Yes. Is it a bad jealousy? I'm not sure. I really needed this Dare today. 

I'm sure everyone knows I am talking about a baby. We have been trying for over a year and it just seems like it will never happen for us. I'm watching all these people around me get pregnant and it just really hurts. I'm losing sleep over it just like this Dare says. I don't understand why we can't conceive. What about all these people that are getting pregnant and having abortions? Why can they conceive these babies they don't even want? What about these parents that kill their babies? I know what you are going to say.. when the time is right it will happen... I know. But it still makes me sad.

And before you say it, yes I am extremely grateful for my girls.

Day 8 - Love is not jealous.

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word for zeal and means "to burn with an intense fire." The Scripture pointedly says, "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4).

There are actually two forms: a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else. If a wife has an affair and gives herself to another person, her husband may have justified, jealous anger because of his love for her. He is longing to have back what is rightfully his.

The Bible describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. It's not that He is envious of us, wishing He had what we have (since He already owns everything). It's that He deeply longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. He doesn't want us to let anything take precedence over Him in our hearts. The Bible warns us not to worship anything but Him because "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4:24).

With this established, we will shift our focus to the illegitimate kind of jealousy that is in opposition to love -- the one that is rooted in selfishness. This is to be jealous of someone, to be "moved with envy."

Do you struggle with being jealous of others? Your friend is more popular, so you feel hatred towards her. Your coworker gets the promotion, so you can't sleep that night. He may have done nothing wrong, but you became bitter because of his success. It has been said that people are fine with your succeeding, just as long as it is not more than others.

Jealousy is a common struggle. It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them. If you're not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended.

If you don't diffuse your anger by learning to love others, you may eventually begin plotting against them. The Bible says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:I-2).

There is a string of violent jealousy seen throughout Scripture. It caused the first murder when Cain despised God's acceptance of his brother's offering. Sarah sent away her hand-maiden because Hagar could bear children while Sarach could not. Joseph's brothers saw he was their father's favorite, so they threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave. Jesus was more loving, powerful, and popular than the chief priests, so they envied Him and plotted His betrayal and Crucifixion.

You don't usually get jealous of disconnected strangers. The ones you're tempted to be jealous of are primarily in the same arena with you. They work in your office, play in your league, run in circles...or live in your house. Yes, if you aren't careful, jealousy can also infect your marriage.

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse's biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club. Bot of you became one and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather than congratulations.

He may be enjoying golf on the weekend while she stays home cleaning the house, He boasts to her about shooting a great score and she feels like shooting him.

Or perhaps she is constantly invited to go out with friends while he is left home with the dog. If he's not careful, he can resent her popularity.

Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them. A loving husband doesn't mind his wife being better at something, having more fun, or getting more applause. He sees her as completing him, not competing with him.

When he receives praise, he publicly thanks her for her support in aiding his own success. He refuses to brag in such a way that may cause her to resent him. A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She throws a celebration, not a pity party.

It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. It's time to let your mate's successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.

Today:

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's lists of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Questions:

How hard was it to destroy the list? Not hard, I had saved it on the computer so I didn't burn it I just deleted it.
What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate? We have been working on being healthier and he has done really well with the diet part which is sometimes hard for me. He is losing weight pretty fast. I could be happier for him and not JEALOUS that it is harder for me to shed pounds.
How can you encourage them toward future successes? I will definitely work on being a better cheerleader.

Love Dare Day 7

So most of this I typed yesterday, the love dare part.. But I just need to vent  a little. I am very sad today. It's nobody's fault. 

Have you ever wanted something so bad it seems crazy to some? Then watched people around you get what you want? Some do deserve it.. But then there are some people who don't even want it and are just going to get rid of it? It hurts. 

I'm having an off day today because of this.. But here is Day 7.

Love Believes the Best

[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It’s called the Appreciation Room. It’s where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place.

On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like “honest” and “intelligent,” or phrases like “diligent worker,” “wonderful cook,” or “beautiful eyes.” They are things you’ve discovered about your husband or wife that have embedded themselves in your memory. When you think about these things, your appreciation for your spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate.

Down another dark corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well.

On its walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.

This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband and wife. Their bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions are written in large letters that cover the walls from one end to the other. If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing things like, “My wife is so selfish,” or “My husband can be such a jerk.” Or maybe, “I think I married the wrong person.”

But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages.

Today’s Dare

For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Questions:

Which list was easier to make? 

They were both equally easy.

What did this reveal about your thoughts? 

I'm not sure.. maybe that at anytime the negative things are easy to come up with.. it should actually be easier to think positive things.

What attribute did you thank your spouse for having? 

I thanked him for being a good dad to my girls. He took on a lot when we got together.. he has no kids and had never been with someone with kids. :)